June 2021 wrap-up

I have to be honest when I first thought about writing this post, I felt as if I had nothing to say. It is obvious that I wasn’t posting much.  When I started reflecting on what I had done, I realized that I might not have read or written a lot, but I DID make considerable gains in My fitness Goals.

After three looooong years, the Drs finally discover that every single one of my symptoms..well, the painful ones…were all caused by the autoimmune disorder Psoriatic Arthritis. The pain had been less as tone dr finally found a pain med that worked, so I had resumed my workouts with Tone it Up. Instead of focusing on the good, I fell deep into the hell that is your brain telling you it is not enough..it is NEVER enough. That is how my brain works.

Held the first plank of my life for 5 sec. I think that means my core was strong enough to control the plank. I had the program for three years, but it wasn’t till this past January that I put everything I had into getting more robust and losing weight. I started with zero core strength. It was bad… I poured my heart and soul into getting more muscular. If you have a severe mental illness, you need all the boost you can get from sources that won’t kill you five years down the road.

I managed to get into the downward dog from a tabletop pose. A real Downward dog, no props needed. I managed to hold that for 3 seconds, but hey, when you start from the beginning, any progress is good progress!

My biggest accomplishment, the one that I am super proud of, is going up to ten pounds on the dumbells. This was a defining moment for me… I used to think that I was way too weak to go above 5 pounds. One day I was like, what the hell got some 10-pound dumbbells at the local super Wal-Mart, and I can tell that I am getting stronger with every workout. After doing a challenging workout on the Tone it Up, that is right, smack dab in the middle for I can’t do this to holy shit I did it, and my self-esteem shoots way up, and I feel like I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof.

I don’t know my weight as I don’t own a scale for reasons I will talk about in another post. I do have to see the Dr once a month for a shot of Abilify in my ass, so I just weigh myself there. I did take measurements, and there was some improvement that even shocked ME! My tummy was even down 2 Inches!

I am glad I took the time to dig into what I DID in May instead of all that I did NOT do. When I started reading my notes and gratitude Journal, I felt something shaft inside me, and I felt encouraged instead of defeated. 

When you are trying to reach a big goal, mindset is everything. If you beat yourself up for not doing everything perfectly, then it will be challenging to active the first big goal. For example, I am infamous among my friends because I start a “diet” then eat something “off-plan,” then I vow to start again on Monday. I will be the first to tell you that method does not work. When I figured out WHY I was binging, I could finally craft a method that works for me.